How to Glow-Up in 2018?

It's a New Year, and I'm back to blogging in 2018, with a few projects currently under construction. I want to wish those who read this blog great success and prosperity, whether it is in school, work, finding a new career, starting a business, etc. I've had many challenges in 2017, and an insane workload only Super Woman could handle. So many life events occurred, coupled with laughs and tears. Last year, I learned valuing your family and friends is the most viable source for staying grounded, and mentally stable, when life throws you unexpected curve balls.

This year, my readers will have a chance to personally get to know me better through my new platform, which will be announced sometime in the Fall of 2018. I want to take more time out for blogging and cultivating my writing skills in a professional setting. My new platform will focus on women empowerment, education, and career resources. I'm currently working behind the scenes to create the biggest project, I ever worked on in my life! I'm not just building a business, I'm creating a career that is all my own, with the intent to leave behind a legacy to share with others.

In 2018, let your hair down, and let the Glow-up become a reality! A glow-up simply is leveling up in life, and becoming the better version of the person you already are. Experiencing a glow-up or achieving a glow-up does not require a physical makeover or fancy clothes, unless you choose to do so!

4 Tips for Experiencing the Best Glow-Up Ever in 2018

Practicing Self-Care: In the last quarter of 2017, a term that was most frequently used online and on Social Media was self-care. Self-Care essentially means taking care of one's self physically and mentally. It's imperative to take time, out to do things for yourself, that will put your mind at ease. Take at least 30-minutes to an hour out of your day to read a book, listen to a podcast, mediate, listen to music, take a yoga class, catch up with friends, paint your nails, etc. All of the mentioned activities can become a part of your Self-Care routine.

Practicing Self-Worth: Did you ever go through a time in your life, where you felt at your lowest? Or did you ever experience a time, where someone made you feel like you were not worth it? I'm here to tell you are just as VALUABLE, as the next person, and your thoughts, opinions, and views do MATTER in society. Whenever, you're feeling this way, speaking or writing down daily affirmations can help boost your confidence level. What I like to do is create a collection board on Instagram, where I can save the positive quotes I like in one "folder". Prayer and meditation is one of my favorite ways to remind myself how awesome I am, whenever I am having a bad day.

Practicing Self-Confidence: When you wear the crown (like the Queen you are), not even the haters can steal your shine. Not to be cocky, but your only competition should be a mirror. Do what makes YOU feel confident! Confidence starts within, and when you got the juice, it can be shown in the way you dress and carry yourself. You may not look or speak like everyone else, and it's okay to be different. Like Beyoncé once said "I'm So Reckless, When I Rock My Givenchy Dress." You don't need to wear designer labels to feel confident however, your personality should let people know, you're the sh*t. Never hang your head low, because you'll drop the crown.

Speaking Your Truth: When Oprah Winfrey eloquently spoke at the 2018 Golden Globe Awards, she said "A New Day is on the Horizon." She spoke for every woman, that has experienced sexual harassment and abuse in the workplace. Oprah also vocalized and made it clear, there is nothing wrong with a woman using her voice as a POWERFUL tool to be heard in any setting. No woman or man, should feel victimized by others, to the point where their voices should be left speechless. I have learned, and still am learning, when to speak up in life. It's okay to say no to others (forreal), and you should always let people know what behaviors are acceptable, and unacceptable.

A Grown Woman's History Month

Beyoncé - Formation Video
Image source Beyoncé/Robin Harper

Women's History Month, is generally about celebrating achievements, contributions, and challenges women have faced in society over a period of time globally. Women have endured and still battle obstacles and scrutiny in today's society, which limits their ability to gain  respect for their power and femininity. Women's History Month was originated and nationally celebrated in 1981, in which Congress passed a law to dedicate a week in March to celebrate women and their contributions to history.

New Year, No Shade, No Filter and are Women Bossy?

Beyonce. Flawless Video

I. Woke. Up. Like. This. Welcome to MY 2015. Last year, I experienced a war of adversities despite how perfect and glamorous my life may 'seem'.  Not to seem too preachy, but God has really brought me through hell and back in 2014. The beginning of last year, I alluded the utmost confidence in myself, which at times was enough to shock  the hell out of me. Don't get me wrong, I was always a confident person regardless of the situation, setting, or who was watching.

Gender Roles? Men, Women, and the Black Community

It never occurred to me how divided men and women are in society. In High School girls and boys were not 'equal' however, the division between both sexes were not as significant as I experienced in my mid-20s. Growing up as a young (black) girl it was perceived that girls were naturally smarter than boys from my upbringing. Boys were not required to study efficiently to obtain good grades. In school girls were expected to obtain good grades, learn how to perform domestic duties, and how to behave around men and society. Fast forwarding to 2014, much of what I observed as a young girl still holds true to this day. I was taught I could do anything, as long as it was in accordance with society. I was always told by my mother that a woman has to work twice as hard as a man, in order to 'make it' in life. I believe this statement is true. I found myself in many situations, where I am in a male dominated environment and I'm expected to 'prove myself'. I feel that I can do anything a man can. I am willing to raise the bar and push the envelope and go after whatever my mind, body, and soul desires.

Women are more than mothers, wives, sisters, girlfriends, sexual-beings, etc. Should women have the right to express themselves freely in every sense of the word? Hell yes! Women are often expected to act, dress, feel and respond in a certain manner, in order to comply with the the rules of society. This is simply unfair! Sheryl Sandberg once said "I want every little girl who's told she's bossy, to be told instead she has leadership skills" (Sandberg, 2013). If a woman is a little aggressive, more successful, or direct, she can be perceived as being mean, cold, or bitter in some circumstances. In my personal life, I tend to leave people in awe when they learn I'm not just 'cute', 'sweet', and 'innocent'. I may appear that way on the outside however, I tend to utilize my Oedipus complex daily. I know I can get any job done just as good (or better) than any man, or person for that matter. It can be very cryptic for both women to openly accept a woman that rebels against her given role in society.

The femininity of any women is held accountable and is often questioned by society. I have been reading Dr. Angela Y. Davis's book Women, Race, & Class, and there are many social, economic, and political issues women, not just black women face as a whole throughout history. As a black woman, I feel that my race is always under the most scrutiny. Black women and women are the most divide, not just as a race of people but culturally and socially as well. What irks me the most is the lack of support or defense from Black men supporting their own women. I feel that Black women virtually have little to no advocates on their behave. During slavery, Black women were dehumanized through the use of rape. In Dr. Angela Y. Davis's book, she states "slave women were inherently vulnerable to all forms of sexual coercion. If the most violent punishments of men consisted in floggings and mutilations, women were flogged and mutilated, as well as raped" (Davis, 1981). In Davis book, she brings up the issue of Black men not being able to stand up for themselves, their women, and families due to the nature of slavery. Many of the underlying issues in the black community are still present today and stem from slavery.

I find that as a Black woman, Black men and women are as opposite and unequal as night and day. Black women are often perceived as outspoken and non-submissive in the Black community. Black women tend to earn more than their Black male counterparts and often play both gender roles in single parent households. Black women are sometimes seen as 'over-sexualized' beings by their own men and other races of men. When I entered the 'real' world, after college, I experienced a reasonable amount of sexual harassment in various environments. I felt because I was targeted as Black woman. I also felt my race and gender, gave any man of any race to talk to me in any manner they wished by default. I found this experience to be very unfair. I never spoke up about my experiences because I was afraid of being stereotyped of seeking male attention or expressing over-sexualized behavior. I will state this again, a Black woman has no advocates for any issues or grievances she is experiencing throughout society or within her own subculture.

I learned as a young woman, it is acceptable by my standards to NOT to comply with the norms of society. I should not be required to get married, bare children, or submit to a man without it willing be my choice. I can dress and speak in any way I choose. My choices and actions should not be made in fear of offending a man or pleasing a man without pleasing myself first. My personality or thoughts should not be tailored to society or my subculture. Gender roles should not make anyone feel as if they need to fit into a square box, called society.

References:

Bort, J. (2013). The most 10 controversial things Sheryl Sandberg just said about women. Business 
Insider.  Link: http://www.businessinsider.com/sandberg-controversial-quotes-2013-3 

Davis, A. (1981). Women, Race, & Class. New York: Random House.