Gender Roles? Men, Women, and the Black Community

It never occurred to me how divided men and women are in society. In High School girls and boys were not 'equal' however, the division between both sexes were not as significant as I experienced in my mid-20s. Growing up as a young (black) girl it was perceived that girls were naturally smarter than boys from my upbringing. Boys were not required to study efficiently to obtain good grades. In school girls were expected to obtain good grades, learn how to perform domestic duties, and how to behave around men and society. Fast forwarding to 2014, much of what I observed as a young girl still holds true to this day. I was taught I could do anything, as long as it was in accordance with society. I was always told by my mother that a woman has to work twice as hard as a man, in order to 'make it' in life. I believe this statement is true. I found myself in many situations, where I am in a male dominated environment and I'm expected to 'prove myself'. I feel that I can do anything a man can. I am willing to raise the bar and push the envelope and go after whatever my mind, body, and soul desires.

Women are more than mothers, wives, sisters, girlfriends, sexual-beings, etc. Should women have the right to express themselves freely in every sense of the word? Hell yes! Women are often expected to act, dress, feel and respond in a certain manner, in order to comply with the the rules of society. This is simply unfair! Sheryl Sandberg once said "I want every little girl who's told she's bossy, to be told instead she has leadership skills" (Sandberg, 2013). If a woman is a little aggressive, more successful, or direct, she can be perceived as being mean, cold, or bitter in some circumstances. In my personal life, I tend to leave people in awe when they learn I'm not just 'cute', 'sweet', and 'innocent'. I may appear that way on the outside however, I tend to utilize my Oedipus complex daily. I know I can get any job done just as good (or better) than any man, or person for that matter. It can be very cryptic for both women to openly accept a woman that rebels against her given role in society.

The femininity of any women is held accountable and is often questioned by society. I have been reading Dr. Angela Y. Davis's book Women, Race, & Class, and there are many social, economic, and political issues women, not just black women face as a whole throughout history. As a black woman, I feel that my race is always under the most scrutiny. Black women and women are the most divide, not just as a race of people but culturally and socially as well. What irks me the most is the lack of support or defense from Black men supporting their own women. I feel that Black women virtually have little to no advocates on their behave. During slavery, Black women were dehumanized through the use of rape. In Dr. Angela Y. Davis's book, she states "slave women were inherently vulnerable to all forms of sexual coercion. If the most violent punishments of men consisted in floggings and mutilations, women were flogged and mutilated, as well as raped" (Davis, 1981). In Davis book, she brings up the issue of Black men not being able to stand up for themselves, their women, and families due to the nature of slavery. Many of the underlying issues in the black community are still present today and stem from slavery.

I find that as a Black woman, Black men and women are as opposite and unequal as night and day. Black women are often perceived as outspoken and non-submissive in the Black community. Black women tend to earn more than their Black male counterparts and often play both gender roles in single parent households. Black women are sometimes seen as 'over-sexualized' beings by their own men and other races of men. When I entered the 'real' world, after college, I experienced a reasonable amount of sexual harassment in various environments. I felt because I was targeted as Black woman. I also felt my race and gender, gave any man of any race to talk to me in any manner they wished by default. I found this experience to be very unfair. I never spoke up about my experiences because I was afraid of being stereotyped of seeking male attention or expressing over-sexualized behavior. I will state this again, a Black woman has no advocates for any issues or grievances she is experiencing throughout society or within her own subculture.

I learned as a young woman, it is acceptable by my standards to NOT to comply with the norms of society. I should not be required to get married, bare children, or submit to a man without it willing be my choice. I can dress and speak in any way I choose. My choices and actions should not be made in fear of offending a man or pleasing a man without pleasing myself first. My personality or thoughts should not be tailored to society or my subculture. Gender roles should not make anyone feel as if they need to fit into a square box, called society.

References:

Bort, J. (2013). The most 10 controversial things Sheryl Sandberg just said about women. Business 
Insider.  Link: http://www.businessinsider.com/sandberg-controversial-quotes-2013-3 

Davis, A. (1981). Women, Race, & Class. New York: Random House.