You Glow Differently When You're Happy

In the midst of a National and Global crisis, I am grateful and truly blessed, for life, health, and happiness! A pandemic is not a term to use loosely or lightly. We are forced to foster a new way of life and to live a new normal (depending on how that resonates for you). In the age of social distancing and being self-quarantined, I have learned to remain calm, grounded, and staying aligned with my life's purpose. 

Something I wrote back in March, which reminds me of my purpose and allows me to continuously find my light in all given aspects of my life is "Without knowing your purpose you're not in alignment with your true self. When you're not in alignment, you're not fully embracing your true purpose!" - Mel.

Since the beginning of 2020, I've been in new energy, which has allowed me to balance feminine and masculine energy, while stepping into divine femininity. We're only a few months into 2020, and I've learned how to become my own healer, while gaining a newfound level of confidence in my own right. 

I struggled with  hormonal + cystic acne for the past 2-3 year, and it mysteriously it came out of nowhere, and I hated breaking out 24/7. During this time, I felt very insecure about the current state of my skin, which was evidently linked to my diet, and gut health. I changed the way I ate. I began using skin care products, and tools meant to target and treat acne, while improving skin texture. Today, I can proudly say, I haven't had acne or large cystic break outs in the past 3 months. This partial the result of seeing an aesthetician and sticking to my home care routine + at home LED Light Therapy, which I love! Sugaring, as in waxing has literally saved my life and time. When I have my sugaring sessions, it's my time to disconnect, think, not think, relax, and just float into space. 

I finally learned how to take selfies and my own head shots like a #BOSSBABE, and I literally glow from the inside out now. I've gained a small following on both of my social media accounts, one which is personal, and the other for She Who Grinds. She Who Grinds is constantly growing each day, and I haven't even launched the actual website yet (baby steps). My dream and goal is to become a professional writer and career coach/motivator full time. I love the beauty industry and how it has evolved into an inclusive multifaceted marketplace. My career is still emerging and growing as a 30-something millennial therefore, I've gained a lot of tips and tricks of the trade, while surviving and 'making it' in the corporate world. 

I'm literally growing out of my shell and becoming more of a care-free, bubbly, and outgoing individual. I've been using my COVID-19 time to consume career-based content. I've joined the Create Cultivate, community for $10.00 (annually), due to a special they were running in light of the pandemic. I also purchased a new book called Work Party by Jaclyn Johnson founder and CEO of Create Cultivate. Girl Boss by Sophia Amoruso is always on my bookshelf, and I probably read it about 15 times, since the book released. Books and podcasts are very important for me to consume at this time, especially if you want to stay motivated in your career/profession or a budding entrepreneur. Right now is the perfect time and opportunity to invest in yourself, your dreams, and goals. You don't have to spend tons of money, there's plenty of online resources, tutorials, and e-courses that are free to eager minds.

A slow down in the economy does not place your dreams on hold or in self-quarantine. Use your time at home (or in the office) to create the perfect work life balance! Honestly, I'm more balanced + centered than ever before. I like to choose wellness over being burned out, and having the right amount of flexibility in my work day. I'm much happier, when I am in total control over my life, while maintaining my peace!

# Do It For Yourself Challenge

In light of all the social media challenges, and doing it for the culture, the level of extra behavior is surreal and unnecessary. If you can take the time out boast about what you're willing to do for the "D"; I'm certainly sure you can make time to achieve those goals you've placed on hold for years. There's a difference between staying woke, and doing it for the culture. There's nothing wrong with being in tuned with what's going on in the world or society. Doing it for the culture however, has nothing to do with how you can better your life, the people around you, your community, or the world.

In today's society, there's nothing wrong with being selfish and focusing on yourself, and what you want to achieve out of life. When you're solely focused on yourself, the challenge should be about your well-being and personal happiness . Worrying about what others think of you in-person, and online should not hold value. Starting thinking about how you can have the best life possible that only involves YOU. The keyword in all of this is putting yourself first. If you want to change the type of people that are in your clique, start visiting places where you'll meet the people  you want to be around. If you want to further your education, start thinking about what you would like to study, and research schools that will meet your needs. Thinking about finding another job or switches careers? Revamp your resume and write a bomb-ass cover letter, and start applying! Want to start your own business? Start brainstorming, and putting the work in to make those plans a reality.

If you simply want to achieve the best glow-up of your life, make small positive changes that makes you happy! Instead of doing favors for others, how about treating yourself to something nice? If it's dinner for you + your handbag at TAO, go for it! Learning when to tell people no, and meaning it is a part it should be a part of the challenge. What you tolerate, is how you earn the level of respect you want from others. # Do It  For Yourself!

Becoming The Woman YOU Love!

It's no secret that self acceptance is something everyone should either posses or learn to work on. I know it sounds very clique to say everyone must love themselves and accept how they look physically. It's easier said than done! Women especially may have a hard time completing this task. As a woman you can't have great relationships with anyone if you don't like or accept who you are inside and out. There are several things about ourselves we can change to improve how we feel on the inside and out. You can't have love for someone else or expect someone else to love you if you don't have love for yourself. Body images is a very touchy subject however, it's easy to have confidence without having any hardcore physical changes altered to you body. Picking something simple as wearing your favorite color, blouse, shoes, jeans, etc can be subtle confidence boosters. Becoming creative with makeup is another way to make you feel more confident. However, makeup should never replace your natural and inner beauty. Learning from other women can help you slowly make the changes in putting you on the right path of loving and accepting yourself. I'm not saying trying to become someone else but rather study how someone behaves, which leads you to believe they have a lot of confidence. Easily picking physical attributes about yourself can help you learn to like the rest of your body from the inside out. Saying daily affirmations is another great way to help you feel more confident and self-accepting.

Changing your attitude and how you view yourself and life is a major step into loving the woman you want to become. Are you always angry? Bitter? Stressed out? Overly Shy? Depressed?  If you answered yes to two of these things, then you may need to reevaluate your attitude and how you approach people. Sometimes, our body language alone can let people know the type of person we are. People can tell when you lack confidence. Loving yourself will help you develop a better relationship with yourself and others. Letting go of bad habits, anger, resentment, and hard feelings opens up a whole new chapter in your life. We all go through different trials and tribulations in our life. I remember I felt my lowest at one point after a couple of bad break ups. I realized during my teen years, I didn't need a boyfriend or to be dating to feel confident once I entered into college.

I got over these feelings after taking a year or so off from getting into serious relationships. This time away from being in a relationship has helped me to solely focus on myself and my needs instead of the needs of a boyfriend. As I get older, I learned to stop being so serious just enjoy myself and have a laugh or two. There are so many outlets to help us get back into sync with ourselves. When I feel like I'm gaining a pound or two. I get up turn some music on and DANCE or I break out the Wii and Zumba it out. When I'm having a bad day, I ride it out and make the best of it.You don't have to change yourself physically to have self acceptance and love for just you. Making mental changes and changing the way you view yourself gives you a great touch of healthy wellness and peace of mind!

Why I'm Transitioning to Natural Hair?

One of the most debatable topics there is among the African-American community is 'Natural' vs. 'Relaxed' hair. I think most multicultural people, have been brainwashed to accept the Eurocentric standards of beauty. I think beauty comes in all forms, shapes, sizes, and people. As a young black woman, I think embracing my culture is a reflection of my personality. For the past two years, I have been struggling back and forth between transitioning to natural hair and going back to relaxers. This year, I was pretty much sick and tired of all the prissy high-maintenance, hair-damage-drama, and the price tag of relaxers.

I remember back in High School, all I wanted was long flowing, silky, and straight hair. I watched the success girls at my high school had from the result of relaxers. I even began spending my entire Saturday mornings/afternoons at Dominican hair salons. My hair didn't thrive well even though my hair had week to week salon treatments. My hair always had it's ups and downs with relaxers (more downs than ups).  My hair barely grew past shoulder length but it retained thickness, body, and shiny. In college, I learned more about Black hair care. I slowly began to learn that the chemicals were damaging my hair. The chemicals from receiving relaxers, did not allow my hair to grow in a healthy state. Back in 2009/2010, my hair suffered great damage from a bad relaxer. Most of my hair at the back portion and nape completely broke off down the the scalp! That was such a stressful period in my life. My damage began to grow out at the end of 2010/2011 but it still wasn't healthy enough. I began researching hair damage and reading enough I could about Black hair care. My mother began to think I was putting too much emphasis into my hair. I didn't care what anyone thought, I was on a mission for having healthier hair.

During my research, I came across many blogs that recommend product reviews for natural hair products geared towards Black or Multicultural people. The products by Shea Moisture kept popping up everywhere. Luckily, I had a Target within driving distance in my neighborhood. The first product I tried from that line was the Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Curl and Style Milk. Boy, did I fall in L-O-V-E!!! This product delivered everything I wanted and more to my hair. My hair was no longer dry and crunchy feeling. I tossed my Organic Roots Stimulator Hair Lotion in the garbage and never looked back since. Shea Moisture's products remain a staple in my current hair care regimen today. My favorite products are the Coconut and Hibiscus Curl and Style Milk (short orange bottle, also mentioned above), and the Organic Raw Shea Butter, Deep Treatment, which I like to use as a deep conditioner and styler.

Karen's Body Beautiful was another great choice that helped my hair get back on track. I literally went bananas, and had a shopping spree once I was finished with a sample pack I decided to try out first. What had me hooked on KBB was the enticing variety of scents you could choose from. My favorite scent of all time is 'Vanilla Latte'. It reminds me of my favorite drink at Starbucks which none the less is... a Tall Vanilla Latte! KBB products are indescribable for me. Her products just work for my hair. I never had a bad hair day using her products yet! My favorite products are (some are not exact product names) the shampoo bar for dry, thirsty hair, Sweet Ambrosia (Hair Milk), Butter Love (like a pomade for the hair, I use this on my scalp twice a week), Heavenly Jojoba Oil, and the Luscious Locks Hair Mask.

Now time to get into the nitty gritty... Why I have chosen to go natural? This question is short sweet and simple. I like to express myself. I find that textured/curly hair works best for me. I feel sexier, confident, daring, cute, sweet, etc, when my hair has the appearance of looking 'natural'. I have spent too many years trying to manipulate my hair into looking and behaving as something it was never meant to do. I'm not knocking anyone with straight hair whether it's natural, relaxed, flat ironed, weaved, etc. If you look fly and it works for you, then DO YOU! Going natural is something I feel is long over due in my life. I never asked or wanted to have a chemical relaxer placed on my beautiful hair as a child at 13/14 years old.

I think my hair can become healthier without the chemicals. Currently, I wear my hair mostly in braid outs or buns. Before I ended a long relaxer stretch which I tried my hardest to transition, I was doing too much to my hair. Flat ironing was too much on my fine hair strands. A lot of manipulation, had led me right back to relaxing (SMH). But now I have chosen to get off the 'creamy crack' for good. Now I'm saying DUECES!!! to my hair stylist too! I don't think textured hair can take away from a person's beauty or make them undesirable. I think there's too much time, money, and propaganda spent dictating to Black Women. The media has told us too long how we should look, dress, act, and behave. I refuse to let society down play my ethnicity and tell me what I should do with myself and my hair. I'm too much of an outspoken and free-spirited individual. I don't time to listen to  the woes of society.

If you embody confidence, creativity, style, and sass, then honey you will be just as beautiful with your hair in it's natural state. At the end of the day what works for some isn't going to work for all. Some people praise women for having natural hair or are in the transitioning process. Meanwhile, some still look down upon hair that isn't chemically straightened or weaved. I know people have their own preference but to say you don't like natural hair when you're a black person is some... ish to me! That's a whole other issue that's just ridiculous. I'm not going natural for political reasons, to piss anyone off (negative family members, friends, strangers, etc), or to be Afrocentric (which isn't a bad thing). I'm simply doing this for me! I commend all women who are natural or transitioning like myself. Excuse my french, but you can most certainly be a bad b*tch with some gorgeous natural hair!!! Wanting or a having natural hair should never make you feel less than a woman, undesirable, ugly, etc. When you find out what works for you and your hair, nobody should tell you otherwise!